Serenity

Things... It's all been reduced down to things. Forgotten things, old things, new things... Things get pushed away, brought back from the dead then pushed away again. Two men, two hearts, too clever but still so stupid. And now, they're like everything else in my life... They're just things; taking up space in my head. Torturing me, eating away at me because they are so much alike but so different. We walked down different paths together and breathed in different air but they're the same, their outcome was the same. And neither of them, back when they were still men in my mind and heart knew how to love me. They said they did but all that blossomed from it was pain, despair, sadness... How could love bore such counter weight?

Any shred of hope is gone now because I know I can't have the fonder memories remain, not when these horrible things have been said and such hatred lives on in the way I see him look at me. A hate for me. A hate for the complications of life, of love. Friendship wasn't enough. Does he not see what I see? Does he truly believe that it's him who has been wronged? How can that be the truth when all I ever wanted was to be his close friend, he didn't do anything wrong but neither did I; I told the truth, I held back nothing and my only regret is that I slipped and believed that it was enough. Nothing is ever enough for some people.

Good feelings used against a person until they become bad feelings. I wish I was that stupid or this would hurt alot less. Shaking at my work, looking over at him, ignoring me, and wondering where it all went wrong. What I would give to have the opportunity to ask what I did wrong. I wish I knew. Liberation obviously comes with the highest cost, and I'm paying that debt back by leaving all of this behind and seeking something newer somewhere else in life.

I don't care, I'm still free... You can't take the sky from me.